A couple of months ago I began a journey that has caused significant spiritual growth in my life. The journey began with my body spontaneously shutting down from sexual desires. This is something that I had never experienced before. My sex drive had always been at the forefront of my connection to past partners. So to begin to live a life without this element with which I had closely identified has, to say the least, been surprisingly liberating.
At first when this shift occurred, I felt as if I was broken, as if the previous circumstances of my last unsatisfying relationship had greatly affected my mind, body and spirit. But accepting this type of mindset would be giving away my power. And my power, like yours, is NOT to be given away carelessly. Instead of playing the “blame game,” I took time to reflect on how I was feeling and what this transition was providing for my inner growth.
I felt as if I was broken,
as if the previous circumstances
of my last unsatisfying relationship
had greatly affected my mind, body and spirit.
The truth is, I have never been more at ease in my entire life. When the warm breeze now touches my skin, I feel relaxed and comforted; a feeling that I had only experienced in the past with people or animals. My mind seems so much clearer and focused. My meditation practice has never been stronger. It is as if the subtraction of sexual desire has allowed for a total awakening of the Self.
The truth is, I have never been more at ease in my entire life.
I am in-tune enough to know that this period of time is preparing me for a new awakening that will bring me one step closer to enlightenment. While this may come at the extreme end of things, I do feel in one way or another we are each slowly awakening towards enlightenment. Finding acceptance of one’s Truth in the present moment allows for such beautiful, indescribable inner growth. When we take the time to embrace the physical changes in our bodies we begin to connect deeper to Spirit. And the connection to Spirit allows for the experience of true, mind-blowing love, attention and affection.
The thought of continuing to live my life as single and celibate feels more aligned with my greater purpose than anything else I have ever experienced. However, I am a human being and will continue to check-in with the Self on a regular basis to reassess and, possibly, realign. For now, however, I am content and I am happy to be with the Self because when you are truly with the Self you are never alone.