A Healer's Lesson
After four days of dedicated work at the Healing Sanctuary, I stood at the front of the tent in the middle of the desert giving thanks for all the amazing and emotional moments that had been bestowed upon me. Just as I began to look across the vast landscape my vision was distracted by the beautiful faces of my best of friends from San Diego who were approaching me. I was so excited to see familiar faces for the first time since I arrived. They were laughing and smiling as I hugged them all at once. We began to speak about the all encompassing Lightning in a Bottle festival and the serendipitous intertwining of goodness that seemed to occur left and right under the magic of this gathering. I asked where they were coming from. They replied, “We actually just asked the firemen with their truck down the way to spray the crowds with their powerful hoses.” My friends then proceeded to tell me that the firemen firmly declined but were pleased to report that the number incidents during their time spent on the grounds were minimal. One firemen said, “There has been six fires thus far. One was from burning incense catching a tapestry on fire.” “Fucking hippies,” replied one of my friends. I laughed and looked at my tribe of friends to reply, “That was me. I’m the ‘fucking hippie’ with the fire.” Let me start from the beginning with this one…
That was me. I’m the ‘fucking hippie’ with the fire.
As my toes touched the dusty desert terrain, a beautiful butterfly danced at my feet (the first sign that I was exactly where I was supposed to be). I had finally arrived to Lightning in a Bottle, the second largest music festival in California and located about five-hours north of San Diego. This was my first festival ever and I came as a healer, a title that had been given to me many years ago. I checked in and made my way to the Healing Sanctuary to set-up my room so that I could be the instrument through which the ever bright love of the Universe could be shared through me. I adorned my room first placing five tapestries over the bamboo fence, and then placing a small white iron table with a white orchid, candle, elephant incense holder in one corner; and an antique baby blue stool with another candle and holder for my sage in the opposite corner. The floor was lined with burlap, a colorful rug and a wicker basket containing bright green fleece blankets. It was my own little sanctuary inside the Healing Sanctuary. I was happy with how warm and inviting my little area had turned out. I then walked towards the artists' camping to set-up my tent.
I arrived the day before general admission so I had time to reset myself and meet with the others who were populating this pop-up city, which would shortly contain almost 35,000 people. I felt very in tune with my surroundings and knew that my sensitive nature could be compromised if I didn't stay focused on my purpose and my light. Over the next two days I watched the grounds fill with people containing a light similar to mine but also with a darkness that I recognized from my drug-fueled past. I knew my purpose at this time, in this place, was greater then I could imagine. But I had no idea what it was that I was up against.
I knew my purpose at this time,
in this place,
was greater then I could imagine.
At the end of my twelve hour shift on Friday evening, I sat with a shaman whom I immediately loved. She reminded me of an auntie that I have and adore. I began to tell her about a recent interaction I had with a dark spirit that was attached to a student of mine. I explained to her that I often take on the darkness for my students and clients because I am able to then move the darkness into the light through my temple. This is why so many of you that have had the opportunity to sit at my Healing Circle or work with me one-on-one are able to leave my presence feeling lighter. She smiled at me and told me that while I am able to use this technique, that it no longer serves my soul because I have outgrown it. I soon concurred with her accurate observation. She then invited me and a couple of other healers into her room for a cacao ceremony. We sipped decadent cacao allowing it to warm our hearts before lying down on the floor to go on a journey. She beat the drum as we all closed our eyes so that our souls could go on a spiritual journey. When I opened my eyes I was eager to share what it is I had seen:
I found myself outside of a fenced-in area that had flames coming out over the top. A shadow body was thrown into the fire and just then I ran away from the fire into the f forest. I found myself in the forest in the lotus position and meditating. In a perfect circle the ground around me sank into a whole other world where I saw the most beautiful river. I dove into the river and began to swim against the current for a handful of strokes until I allowed myself to stop resisting; allowing the river's flow to take me downstream.
After we had all shared our visions, we hugged and parted ways for the evening. I went back to my tent and immediately fell asleep. There were two more days of healing and I needed my rest.
She beat the drum as we all closed our eyes
so that our souls could go on a spiritual journey.
The next morning the Healing Sanctuary was swamped with people. I had back-to-back clients all morning and afternoon and, to be perfectly frank, a lot of them were carrying some heavy and dark energy. The appointments were scheduled for roughly 30-minutes apiece and I felt that it was my job as a healer to make sure that they were all able to leave lighter and with a sense of peace. So, without hesitation, I began to absorb their darkness to send it into the light. I thought to myself that I could handle it like I had so many times before because I am protected and I am strong because God is within me. I blew out my candles and walked towards the front of the sanctuary to find another healer who I had yet to see that day. We began to speak and within a minute another healer came running out and yelled, “There’s a fire…in your room!” I ran back to my room and found it in flames. It was still small but it was getting out of control. I ran into the fire, grabbed my bag and ripped down one of the tapestries that was catching fire from another tapestry. I began to stomp it out and then ran out of my room to toss out the burlap bag with my personal items in it. I then ran back into the fire to find about fifteen people stomping and throwing water on the fire and smothering it with towels. It was virtually silent as all these angels diligently worked towards containing this outlandish circumstance. I was amazed to witness one petite topless woman with blonde curls hurling water at flames above her head using a full five gallon bottle of water. Everyone seemed to have super human strength as we all worked together to put out the fire. And we did just that. The fire department arrived a few minutes later to a mess of a room with evident fire damage and, thankfully, no fatalities. I stood there, in shock, to what had just occurred.
I didn’t understand why this had happened to me in that very moment because I knew that I was a part of some powerful healing, especially that day. One-by-one the other healers and kind staff members came to make sure I was okay. They all reassured me that I wasn’t the only one burning incense and that it, “Could have happened to any one of us.” I felt ashamed, guilty and utterly confused. Yet I knew that it was also a powerful spiritual message that I couldn’t ignore, especially since my journey the night before turned out to be a premonition, which prior to that moment, usually only came to me in my dreams. So I sat in my burnt room to understand and this is what I realized:
Fire is sacred. Fire represents transformation and no longer was I to absorb the negative energies of another for the greater good. Rather, it was up to me to lead them to the light through their own inner connectedness so that they could find the strength of God within the Self.
Once I was able to understand the message provided to me (in the most dramatic fashion), I rebuilt my room so that I could continue to provide healing to those in need without taking on any of their darkness and pain.
While I am here as a teacher,
I am still very much also a student.
Every healer still has many lessons to face along their journey, including me. While I am here as a teacher, I am still very much also a student. I am strengthening my connection to the Universe day-by-day and am honoring the lessons before me. My heart is filled with the most powerful love and gratitude for all that is given to me and for everything that is taken away. Let us all be open to the messages that are being shown to us so that we may continue our inner growth throughout this beautiful time together. Together we can change the world.