I curled up on the floor after savasana into a fetal position and whispered to myself, “Alisha, I miss you.” This was the point where I realized that I had been giving too much to others and I desperately needed a break. I needed to say no. I needed to say no to everyone. And this is exactly what I did.
I cleared my schedule for the day and declared it to be a day of self-love in order to empower my beautiful Soul and allow me to continue down the path that has chosen me. Every one of us is someone’s healer. Me? I am an exception since I am a healer to most. You, my dear, may be an exception too. Healer is a title that took me many lives to earn and often declassifies me as a normal human being. I am not looked at as one that is allowed to have a day off, or even any issues of my own. My job is selfless and can easily be compared to the roll of mother. This is something that I accept because I understand the greater good of the work that I do. However, this does not mean that I am not at times drained of my energy.
My job is selfless and can easily be compared to the roll of mother.
I needed to escape without giving an explanation (not that anyone would ask), especially after the release of a handful of clients in one week. I made the decision to “fire” clients after coming to the realization that they were not coming to me for the right reasons. My foot was down and I had to stay firm because my reputation was on the line. The work that I facilitate is not for most. Most people are not ready to voluntarily open themselves up for self-discovery in order to make significant lifetime changes. That's because change is scary. Change is real. And once we see where we have to change, it can be difficult to sleep at night or to even look at ourselves in the eye until we begin the work at hand. This is why we bombard ourselves with tasks throughout the week and with “means of escape” on the weekends (i.e. drugs, alcohol, etc.). We aren’t ready to be honest and see our Truth. What we are really saying is that we don’t give a fuck about ourselves but rather want life to be easy without doing our work. This is where we are wrong. It doesn’t matter whether or not you want to do the work because you will have to face it eventually. And when you wait too long, the Universe steps in and forces you to face the facts that you have been so consciously avoiding. This is usually when “accidents” seem to occur in order to shake you out of your pattern to give you the opportunity to shift.
Everything that I was avoiding because of my ego
came to the forefront and I had no choice
but to make some life changes.
My last “accident” was when I fell down a spiral staircase while holding two glasses (one filled with cranberry juice and the other with water). I had walked up and down that staircase thousands of times before and never had I not used the rail. But this particular morning, I did not use the rail and the outcome was a fall that resulted in a severe contusion on my back that put me in the hospital. Everything that I was avoiding because of my ego came to the forefront and I had no choice but to make some life changes. I had resisted until that resistance pushed me down a flight of stairs. I now know that I could have avoided this whole painful experience (both physically and mentally), but I didn’t.
If I choose not to listen
then I am basically giving the Universe permission
to force me to face my Truth.
Going back to the moment where I realized that I was ignoring myself in order to serve others was my warning. If I choose not to listen then I am basically giving the Universe permission to force me to face my Truth. I, however, know that this is not what I need so I am taking a break and loving myself to the extent that I need in this precious moment.
Now for you, my dear, I ask that you take this bit of insight into my life and use it to evaluate your current state and see what it is that you need. Respect your inner guru and know that your intuition never steers you wrong. You are the most important love of your life and today is the day to start treating yourself this way.